Honestly OK
by PurpleHush
Summary: Jasper received a weird phone call in the middle of the night. He was scared shitless when he found out that something bad happened to his twin sister, Rosalie. Would he be able to get just in time, or will he end up torn apart? ONESHOT.


So...I was listening to a song of Westlife (yes, I'm a big fan of them...you might think I'm cheesy and all, but hey, they gave me the idea and inspiration to write this oneshot). Anyway, this one is kind of...tragic. I titled this after Dido's song _Honestly Ok_. I don't own Twilight, you all should know that by now. Lol.

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All Jasper could hear down the phone was breathing. Heavy, unsteady, rhythm-less panting. Like someone had been running or really nervous. It was making Jasper uneasy; he'd already been on the phone a couple of minutes and not a word had been spoken.

"Hello?… HELLO?!…What do you want?… Who is this? I'm fed up with this. I'm putting the phone down…Now!" He said angrily.

"Jasper," he heard a voice whimper.

"Em? Emmett is that you?" There was no reply after asking but he knew it was him.

"What's wrong dude? What happened?" Jasper could now hear him crying. Emmett hardly ever cried and if he did, he never let anyone else know that he was. "Why are you crying?!" Jasper insisted.

"It's Rosie," Emmett managed to sniff out.

Emmett and Rosalie had been dating for over 3 years. He'd got to know her through Jasper. She was Jasper's twin sister. She was the most beautiful person either of them had ever met. Not only was she beautiful on the outside but she was funny, intelligent, caring, everything and anything you could want in a friend or in a sister. She had amazing blue eyes - almost like a light shade of violet - and golden blonde hair that flowed right to her waist.

Emmett and Rosalie were truly committed to each other, though Emmett hadn't plucked up the courage to ask her to be his wife yet.

Jasper and Rosalie didn't have a 'good' childhood. They were left by their father right after they were born, and their mother became a drug addict by the time they were four. The two of them took care of each other since then. When they were about fifteen years old, their mother died because of drug overdose. Rosalie had difficulties in coping with their life, while Jasper was the more rational one between the two of them.

During their 20th birthday celebration, their father suddenly popped out of nowhere, and Rosalie became much better since then. She was now having a great job in the fashion industry.

Jasper loved her to pieces; they where more than any brother and sister that ever existed. He had been very weary of Emmett going out with her; he didn't like it at first. He knew what Emmett was like and didn't want Rosalie with someone like that but it all turned out OK in the end.

"What happened? She's OK isn't she?" Jasper shouted down the phone. All he could hear was Emmett's breathing getting faster and faster and the tears following faster and faster. "I'm coming 'round now!" He said slamming the phone down hard.

He ran through his house and grabbed his denim jacket off the back of the kitchen chair. He did it so sharply that he knocked the chair over sending it crashing to the ground.

"Shit!" He yelled stopping to pick it up again.

"What's all the commotion about?" Alice asked walking in to the kitchen with a pen in her hand and a journal on the other.

"Something's wrong with Rose, I have to get to Emmett's." He said rushing past her, hitting her on the way round the legs with his jacket. "Sorry if I disturbed your study." He yelled as he rushed out the door, slamming it behind him.

He headed for the garage as quickly as he could. He jumped into his BMW and started up the engine. He sped out of the drive, leaving speed marks on the tarmac as he went. He looked at the clock on the dashboard; it was 11 o'clock in the evening. He didn't think it was that late. Well it was the middle of winter, it got dark early. How was he meant to know the time?

Jasper sped through the country lanes as fast as he could. Thank god no one was on the roads. It only normally took 15 minutes to get to Emmett's from Jasper's but tonight it felt like it was taking hours.

Jasper automatically started to worry. What the hell happened to get Emmett so worked up? Maybe she's walked out on him. Maybe… His thought trailed off as he turned the corner to Emmett's house to be confronted with a barrage of police cars and ambulances.

"Fuck, what the hell's going on?" He exclaimed, pulling up next to Emmett's car. He stepped out almost hitting Emmett's car with his car door. He slammed it shut and ran up to the front door. He banged frantically on the door; he didn't wait to seconds before yelling his name at the top of his lungs. "EMMETT!"

A woman Jasper had never met before answered the door. He noticed she was in a police uniform. "Who the hell are you?"

"You must be Mr. Hale, come in." She said solemnly.

Jasper didn't notice the tone in her voice or the fact that she didn't answer his question. Jasper walked in, taking everything in. It was like he'd never been there before even though he treated it as his second home. There where people walking all over the place, he didn't recognize one of them.

"What the fuck's going on?" He said, demanding to know what was happening.

"Erm…I think its better you speak to Mr. McCarty first. He's in the kitchen." She said pointing.

"I know where it is," he snapped, walking off. He raced in to the kitchen to find Emmett being comforted by another officer. He walked slowly over to him; he'd never seen him like this before. He was a mess. He looked like he hadn't slept in days, his eyes red, puffy and looking painful. He was glad he'd never seen him like this before. It made him upset just looking at him.

He walked over to him and rested his hand on Emmett's shoulder. He looked up and after a delayed reaction threw his arms round his neck and broke down in tears, sobbing in Jasper's shoulder.

"Do you want me to stay or would you like me to leave?" The female officer asked.

"Stay," Emmett whined looking over his shoulder.

"Emmett, what happened?" Jasper asked for the millionth time.

Emmett opened his mouth but no words escaped his lips. He sat back down around the kitchen table; Jasper sat himself down in the chair next to Emmett.

"I need to know what's going on." Jasper said, trying to look calm but deep inside he was like a volcano going to erupt.

"I know but…but I just don't know how to," Emmett said as shivers ran down his spine.

"Tell me!" Jasper shouted sternly, scared shitless.

"Rosie, she's…she's dead!"

"You said what?!" Jasper boomed as his stomach did a back flip.

"Rose…she killed herself." Emmett said, almost a trembling whisper.

"Herself? …She wouldn't. She was happy, why would she do that?" Jasper asked as he felt his eyes become watery.

Emmett gave no reply. He just buried his head in his hands.

"Emmett ANSWER ME…What did you do to her?" Jasper demanded.

"I didn't…I didn't do anything," Emmett stammered. He turned to the police officer and pleaded with his eyes for help. She walked over and sat in the chair opposite Jasper.

"Can you tell me what this prick's on about?" Jasper asked, desperate for answers and for the truth to turn to lies.

"Listen, and listen carefully, both of you. This is nobody's fault. I'm sorry to say it but she took her own life. Nobody had a say, it was her own choice…but there maybe a reason for her judgment to be clouded." The police officer stated.

"What are you talking about? Rosie would never take her own life, there's no reason for her to," Jasper insisted.

"Just listen," the women said. "Something happened a couple of weeks ago. You were both away and she insisted you never know about it. She did come to the police however, but refused counseling. This I fear played a major factor in what's happened."

"Just say it," Jasper said.

"Rosalie was raped. She was attacked on the way home from seeing a friend and a group of drunk men jumped her. She insisted you two never knew but we have found two letters one to us and one addressed to 'My Boys'."

"She…I can't get my head 'round this," Jasper said, breaking down into tears again. After a while he asked, "How did she do it?"

"Overdose," the officer said. "It wouldn't have been painful. She would have felt like she was falling asleep."

"Em, you found her?"

"Yeah," he said, sniffing.

"Can I see her?" Jasper asked wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.

"'Course, she's up stairs in her bed. I'll come up with you." The woman offered.

"Em, will you come with me?" Jasper asked, trying to sound unshaken. He somehow felt that he had to be _strong_.

"I can't…I can't see her again." Emmett mumbled as a new batch of tears escaped his eyes.

"Emmett she's your fucking girlfriend…my sister!" Jasper said, standing up. Emmett just shook his head. Jasper totted in disgust and stormed out.

He slowly walked up the long spiral staircase to Emmett's upstairs. It felt like the green mile; he looked up the stairs - they seemed never ending. Swirls of never-ending marble and all he could hear was the clip of his heels on the cold hard stone.

Suddenly it dawned on him, this was his sister. He felt like his eyes where looking at the back of his head like in one of those horror movies. A part from this was real, as much as he didn't want it to be, it was.

Finally he reached the top of the stairs and straight in front of him was Emmett's bedroom. The door was slightly ajar; Jasper walked over and in slow motion watched his hand rest on the door handle. Holding it tightly, he turned the handle unnecessarily and pushed the door gently open.

He gasped at what he saw. Rosalie was lying, tucked up in bed. She looked so peaceful. Just like she was asleep. The tears started following faster and heavier; he started to shake, too scared to go near her incase he disturbed her.

Heavy footed, he walked over to her and hesitantly sat on the bed next to her. He gently took her hand in his. She was cold, stone cold. It sent shivers down his spine.  
He looked at her - she was so beautiful…the voice in his head that was yelling and confusing him suddenly stopped.

Everything became real. Someone had fucked up her rights as a human being so much that she couldn't go on with life anymore. Jasper had no idea how that felt, to have someone force themselves on you. It made him sick just thinking about it. What must it have been like for Rosalie? She must have been so scared…terrified! Why would anyone do that? It's disgusting.

Jasper now knew why she sounded so distant on the phone a few days ago. She hadn't been to see Alice and they got on great, they saw each other at least once every other day. Alice did say she's been around but no one answered.

He just wanted her to sit up and hug him. Tell him it was all one nasty joke. Not likely. He sat staring at her, holding her hand tighter and tighter.

"Wake up," he whispered staring into her blue lips, unable to lift his head higher at that moment. "Please…"

Nothing happened.

Jasper felt like his world was ending; it was all coming crashing around his feet. Nothing would ever be the same again - his life would change, Emmett's life, Alice's, their fathers'.

He laid himself on top of her, hugging her, begging her to come back…but it didn't work. She just stayed limp in his arms.

Jasper gently laid her back down and pulled away; his face was wet from tears. He went back to holding her hand, brushing away a stray hair from her face.

"Little sis," he whispered like he was being careful not to wake her. His now-raspy voice became pain to his ears. "Why? Why couldn't you tell me? All the things we've been through together and sorted out…and what about Em, huh? He loves you so much. He…_we_ could've helped, we would've understood."

Jasper looked at her face again, hoping that she would open her eyes. But it was too late to hope for that.

"Rose…you're so beautiful, I know I don't say it as mush as I should but…I love you. You're my best friend nothing will ever change that. You're my dearest sister… _Good bye Rosie_," he said placing a heartfelt, beautiful kiss on her cold cheek. "Good Bye…" he rested her hand back at her side and left the room closing the door tight as he left.

He slid down the wall outside and cried into his hand. It was strange, it didn't feel like she was gone, but he knew it would – eventually. As soon as he and another argument with Alice and had nowhere to run to, no one to talk to.

After a while he plucked up the courage to go back down and face Emmett. Why he found it so hard to go and talk to one of his best friends, he couldn't understand.

Downstairs, Emmett was still in the kitchen staring in a cup of tea. Jasper spotted a tear fall from his check in to the cup. He finally realized he wasn't the only one that had lost someone; it was hard for Emmett too.

Jasper went up to him and hugged him. _What the fuck are we gonna do?_ Jasper thought. _How do we deal with this?_

They both sat back around the table again, ready to talk.

"She looked so peaceful," Jasper whispered.

"So beautiful," Emmett continued. "I…erm…I only just got back today. I went home first to go see Mum and Dad and got back today. We spoke on the phone last night."

To Jasper it felt like Emmett was pleading for forgiveness.

"Do you wanna know what the last thing she said to me was before she ended the call?"

Jasper shook his head.

"She said, 'Honestly, I'm OK'," Emmett laughed dryly.

There was a long silence until Jasper asked, "Can I read the letter?" He looked to Shane then to the policewoman standing in the corner of the room. "Please, it was addressed to both of us."

Emmett slowly stood up and walked over to the breakfast bar and picked the envelope up. He held it with to hands as he walked over, shaking. He held it out for Jasper to take hold of. Jasper hesitantly took hold of it and stared at it.

It was a plain office envelope with 'My Boys' written across the front in Rosalie's beautiful fancy writing. He slowly peeled back the self-adhesive flap and pulled out the faintly scented piece of A4 plain paper. It was folded 3 times and one by one he lifted them open.

The whole thing was hand written in black ink with a large signature at the bottom.

Jasper started to read it…

_I just want to feel safe in my own skin  
I just want to be happy again  
I just want to feel deep in my own world  
but I'm so lonely I don't even want to be with myself anymore  
On a different day if I was safe in my own skin  
then I wouldn't feel so lost and so frightened  
But this is today and I'm lost in my own skin  
And I'm so lonely I don't even want to be with myself anymore  
I just want to feel safe in my own skin  
I just want to be happy again  
~ Rosie_

Jasper huffed, "Honestly OK…" he said to himself.

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**Please review. Thanks.  
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